We all have our own reading pace, and we all react differently to books. That said, there are a lot of things that a bookworm can mean when they say flail, freak out, ERMEGERDDDDD, and slkjfökjöafefökjawejhahkjöjd. I’m just here to interpret what some of a bookworms reactions while reading might mean.
Because I’m so nice.
If you have a loved one who is perpetually confused by your reading habits and/or the way you act while reading, feel free to show them this so that they may better understand you.*
*OMG I’m so nice someone bless me for my kindness
If you are anything like me, then your favorite thing to do while you read is eat. Doesn’t matter if it’s spaghetti bolognese, cornbread with chili, brownies or straight up chocolate. Everything is fair game! The trouble is…I am a messy eater.
Don’t ask me how this happened, I don’t know. I have always been known to spill on myself all the time, always. And it’s probably not going to stop anytime soon.
Even so, my reaction every time I spill some food on my beloved books, is something akin to this:
Thanks for expressing my feelings so accurately, Luke Skywalker.
Aaaand when I realise that the food spilled was too messy (oily, wet, etc.), or just to soft (melted chocolate, anyone?), I have to come to terms with the fact that there is no going back. This book will forever bear my mark.*
*Whoever gets these books after me shall forever wonder: is it blood??? Is it spaghetti sauce???? WHO CAN KNOW
WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE. They make eye contact. She blushes. He does something stupid. Their hands accidentally touch, and Mr. Darcy lingers inconspicuously. YOU GET THE GIST OF IT. And your heart does that little flutter and your stomach flips. WHO NEEDS ROMANCE IN REAL LIFE AMIRIGHTORAMIRIGHT.
Let’s be honest, there is nothing better than a bloody battle scene done well. Or a cleanly slit throat. Or a messy stabbing. It just gives you such a thrill and you feel like you could TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND BECOME QUEEN EMPRESS OF THE SEVEN GALAXIES.
It’s a high that feels something akin to this:
UM EXCUSE ME I THINK THAT WAS A TYPO.
WHY DIDN’T THE EDITORS CATCH THIS.
THIS CHARACTER HAS LITERALLY NO REASON TO BE A PERPETUAL ASS.
THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO KISS RANDOMLY.*
WHY IS THERE A LOVE SQUARE. HECTAGON. OCTAGON.**
*CAN YOU TELL THAT THESE MAKE ME SHOUTY
**I swear I read a book with a love square. WHY. WHY EVEN.
So your favorite character died. HOW ARE YOU EXPECTED TO KEEP LIVING.
The dog got hurt,
the horse got shot,
the cat got hit.
AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES MORE ABOUT THE ANIMALS SAFETY THAN THE CHARACTERS.
Other things in a book that will make me tear up:
- Smol child who is mistreated
- Tough guy/girl who had hard childhood/life
- best friends making up
- Enemies becoming friends
- Professor Lupin being the only person who seems to understand that chocolate is the answer to all life’s problems
- misunderstood characters who get treated terribly
- Holland (Shades of Magic Trilogy)*
*BUT SERIOUSLY. HOLLAND YOU GUYS. ALL HE WANTED WAS LOVE.
Is a book really good if no one dies?
WHAT’S THE POINT IF YOU DON’T SPEND THE NEXT THREE DAYS MOURNING OVER THE LOSS OF YOUR FICTIONAL FRIEND.
Answer: THERE IS NO POINT.
Still. The loss hits you hard.*
*Every. Single. Time.
Did I already mention my love for violent books??? WELL I’M DOING IT AGAIN.*
*Remember, children. Violence is not the answer.
Need I say more???*
*I think I might need to?? My boyfriend doesn’t seem to have grasped this concept yet.
Ever stayed up until 3 am reading??? BEEN THERE DONE THAT.
OR. Your eyes are inexplicably drooping at 8 pm because you apparently are a grandma.
And then you finally put the book down and go to bed.
AND IN THE MORNING YOU REALIZE YOU DON’T REMEMBER THE LAST 30 PAGES YOU READ BECAUSE YOU WERE ACTUALLY SLEEPING WITH YOUR EYES OPEN.
What are some reactions you have while reading?? Did you relate to any of the reactions I listed?? Tell me which ones!