10 Ways to Become a Master Procrastinator Like Me (and Also Why Procrastinating is the Answer to All Your Problems)

Though my NAME may not say it outright, I am not only the Queen of Fantasy, but also the Queen of Many Other Things. Procrastination being one of those Many Other Things.

Now, not everyone is blessed with the affinity to perform the art that is Procrastination. That’s where I come in. I am here to teach you my ways, so that you, too, can procrastinate successfully.

So, without Further Ado (okay ado?? WHO EVEN MADE THAT WORD UP IT LOOKS WRONG), here are 10 Reasons Why Procrastination is Good and Also What Are Legitimate Reasons to Procrastinate in the first place. (Trust me, I know. I even procrastinated writing this blog post! See???)

1. Diamonds

They are created under immense pressure okay. Your regular self? Yep, that’s the lumpy coal you see in the mirror every morning thinking ‘What am I even doing with my life?’

Just wait! Once you have procrastinated studying until two weeks before your Exams you will feel THAT MUCH BETTER AFTERWARD. Why? Because your lumpy face is now a sparkly diamond. NOW WALK INTO THE STREET AND BLIND PEOPLE WITH IT.

2. Shop Online instead of doing Anything Productive

It doesn’t really matter what you shop for, or whether you are even Actually Shopping. You could be adding books you definitely can’t afford to your shopping cart and crying silently over the sum and then throwing your laptop across the room. You could be adding thousands of books to your Goodreads TBR and then binge eating chocolate because OMG YOU NEED TO SUDDENLY LIVE FOREVER TO BE ABLE TO READ ALL OF THOSE IN THIS LIFETIME.

3. Sit Down to Read and then….

Okay. So you finally have some down time and this book has been incessantly calling your name and making you cry because you have no time to read it. BUT YOU FINALLY DO.

Now. Make yourself comfortable in your favorite reading spot. This could be curled up on the couch, sitting in an open field, or snuggled up in bed. My personal favorite is a nice hot bath!
Next step: Open your book.
Then: Pick up your phone to see if you have any messages.
OMG: YOU HAVE 29289374982 NOTIFICATIONS ON YOUR BOOKSTAGRAM/TWITTER/FACEBOOK.

You now will spend the next two hours liking pictures, replying to comments, and answering DMS. Now your bath is cold, or your cat needs to be fed, or its time for bed. In short: You Just Successfully Wasted All Your Reading Time on Social Media.

4. Spend Your Reading Time doing Literally Nothing

WHO HASN’T DONE IT (and don’t lie to me I see you there). Tutorial time again!

Once again, make yourself comfy. Spy your book sitting pretty to your right.
It looks so inviting!
You really want to read it. It was just starting to get really good!
Stare at it some more.
Look at the clock and realize you just spent four hours straight sitting and doing nothing.
Congratulations! You have now reached level Intermediate of Procrastinating!

5. Procrastination is a Wonderful Motivator

This is a good thing people! The longer you wait, the more your motivation grows! I must add, however, that this technique only works if you have a deadline. So make lots of deadlines!

6. Pets

You heard me. There is also the issue of: My cat is sitting on me and it would be incredibly rude to make her move when she is obviously so comfortable. Or she is sleeping under my legs. Or, you know, your dog needs to go on a walk, your pets need to be fed, you need to play with them, they want to be pet, he/she isn’t usually this cuddly…*
Needless to say, if you have a pet, there will always be a perfectly logical reason for you to procrastinate!

*Trust me, the list goes on! ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES

7. TV

WHAT???? You didn’t realize that 10 EPISODES of your 9th favorite show have aired!?!?!? Well. There goes your evening. This is also a perfectly acceptable reason to procrastinate well into the wee hours of the night. Don’t feel ashamed to spend 5 hours straight watching your show, or longer! Also, feel free to stay up way past your bedtime until you can barely keep those eyes open!

8. You Work Faster!

You heard me! When you procrastinate with a specific deadline, you cut your time needed for your project in half!* Never mind the fact that you run the risk of your work ending up being sub-par – it’s all worth it in the end!!**

*BONUS!!
**Trust me! No one ever regretted procrastinating.

9. Spend The Entire Day Doing Something Else

For example: When I plan a photoshoot for my bookstagram/blog, I like to take up an entire day. This is because I procrastinate WHILE I’m doing that* by taking multiple breaks and eating chocolate! And you may have noticed that there is never food in my pictures. This is because all of my food props get eaten prior to taking photos.

An entire day of me taking photos may yeild up to 20 usable photos, so no regrets there!

*Procrastination level: EXPERT

10. Reduce Stress Levels

DON’T BELIEVE ME???? Your stress levels on average will certainly go down by procrastinating everything to the very last minute! This is because you ignore the problem for so long (during which your stress levels are at a minimum), and then they peak once the deadline comes around, but only for a Very Short Amount of Time. So you see: You are reducing your overall stress levels by procrastinating!

Make sure to take this quiz I made to determine what level of procrastination you have achieved!!

SO TELL ME! Are you a procrastinator?? If you took my Very Professional Quiz, which result did you get (and did I get it  right??? hahahaha)??

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10 thoughts on “10 Ways to Become a Master Procrastinator Like Me (and Also Why Procrastinating is the Answer to All Your Problems)

    1. Hahaha I feel like my procrastination has definitely skyrocketed since becoming a blogger but also in general since becoming an adult XD I may or may not be in denial that I am now a grown up. SEE I KNEW IT. Tell me ONE PERSON WHO REGRETTED IT…… hahaha NOT ME. NEVER

  1. Aww, I’m only an Apprentice Procrastinator…clearly I need to learn more from The Master AKA You.? I actually procrastinate books a LOT , and blog posts even more…aghhghg. But like when I commit to something I don’t procrastinate at all!! Like when I’m writing a book, I NEVER procrastinate. But plotting? Another matter entirely.?
    Also I relate to eating all your bookstagram food props before photographing them. Actually me.
    Cait @ Paper Fury recently posted…10 Things About Books I Shall Give Vague Pterodactyl Screams Over And Then Fall On My HeadMy Profile

    1. DANG. I suppose that I shall now have to tutor you as Queen of Procrastination. YOU NEED THAT TITLE IN YOUR LIFE. Blogging is definitely a big source of procrastination for me haha it’s spectacular! You are seriously someone to learn from, I need to get better at writing regularly because I get into slumps really fast.
      YESSSS OMG this is an actual reason why there is no food in my photos hahahaha

  2. I can totally relate to that first one, except I’m more extreme- I have an exam literally tomorrow and I haven’t studied, and I’m supposed to be revising now but, well, I got Queen of Procrastination for a good reason.

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