I actually kind of secretly* like ranting?? It’s such a sweet relief to yell your feelings out to the world.. BUT. At the same time I feel kind of bad for the author and so I am Very Courteously keeping it short. ALSO I am stealing Cait @ Paper Fury‘s mini review method because it’s so crisp and lovely! Since I always add my likes and dislikes in my regular reviews, I couldn’t think of a better way of doing minis! SO THANK YOU CAIT YOU GLORIOUS BEAST.
*OR NOT SO SECRETLY?? Who can know.
Now, now. There is no need to fret here. Just because I didn’t like it, does NOT mean it isn’t for you!
- So, um, TIME IS ALIVE. That’s worth mentioning. If the clock has an issue, it means that the TIME IN THAT TOWN GETS MESSED UP. If it BREAKS (god forbid) time itself will STOP for that town meaning the inhabitants never age?? Also they don’t realize how much time has passed, because, well…time is stopped.
- Also there are explosions. Explosions are good!
- There is BETRAYAL. Betrayal is the best because it breaks my SMOL HEART.
- It takes place in old timey London. #win.
- Gay romance (yay for diversity!) with a clock spirit?? YES.
- It felt really slow and shallow to me.
- The author made a weird point of making it VERY CLEAR that good people do bad things. BUT BUT… the betrayer did some PRETTY UNFORGIVABLE THINGS. So I say NO MERCY but the author says, hey he did it out of love. BUT THAT’S NOT THE WAY LOVE IS SUPPOSED TO WORK. So no.
- Danny Hart was cute and all, but I just couldn’t connect with him. I DON’T KNOW WHY OKAY.
- Instalove??? No. It’s like, he sees the other guy and immediately notes how unbelievably handsome he is. Also his shirt is partly unbuttoned. IT WAS TOO OBVIOUS and make me cringe a little.
The Name of the Wind
I ACTUALLY feel really bad about this one because EVERYONE ELSE I KNOW LOVES IT??? #fail. I read (or rather listened to) more than half of this book before I gave up because I kept falling asleep*. EVEN WITH THE AUDIO BOOK PEOPLE. I literally didn’t have to do anything but listen.
*literally and figuratively
- It had an epic feel to it?? DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN BY THAT?? If not I’m sorry but I can’t explain it any better. It felt like an epic adult fantasy. Perhaps I’m still too smol to appreciate it.
- Kvothe was actually the best of ever. He had a perfect childhood and then it got smashed to pieces by mythical creatures and he wants revenge. So all the yesses to that.
- It was too adult for me (insert cry emoji). This may sound childish* but it is what it is. I could NOT get into it. I felt bad for Kvothe. And when he secretly went and cried my little heart broke a little. But still. It was a classic story of the boy becomes homeless and finds his way around a harsh city.
- To be fair, I didn’t finish it, but only because it was too boring for me. I couldn’t connect with the older Kvothe and things got really boring for me as soon as he reached the university. It all seemed so cliche to me after that point.
- There were descriptions and side stories (usually disguised as other people telling stories). Those were especially boring to me. Kvothe didn’t know anything concrete about the Channary (I think that’s what they’re called??) So he had to find everything out from other people.
- It seemed to go way to slow. THE BOOK WAS TOO LONG with not enough action and things blowing up? LIKE, I thought there was going to be more STABBING AND DUELS AND BATTLES but I guess maybe it doesn’t get real until later??
Who knows, maybe I’ll try it again when I’m like 30 but I literally just had cookies for breakfast**. I am not an adult.
*ha. get it. childish because it’s too adult. I’M SO FUNNY.
**I know. I say that a lot. I do it a lot. Don’t judge me.
Have you read either of these books? Tell me what you thought of them (and if you loved them more than me tell me why!!).