My Scrambled and DESTROYED Thoughts on Nevernight whose Author DOES NOT Believe in Happy Endings

Nevernight Book Cover Nevernight
Jay Kristoff
Fiction
Macmillan
9th August 2016
448

"In a world where the suns almost never set, a woman gains entry to a school of infamous assassins, seeking vengeance against the powers that destroyed her family. Daughter of an executed traitor, Mia Corvere is barely able to escape her father's failed rebellion with her life. Alone and friendless, she wanders a city built from the bones of a dead god, hunted by the Senate and its thugs. But her gift for speaking with the shadows leads her to the hearth of a retired killer, and a future she never imagined. Now, Mia is apprenticed to the deadliest flock of assassins in the entire Republic-the Red Church. Deadly trials await her within the Church's halls: blades and poisons, treachery and death. If she survives to initiation, she'll be inducted among the chosen of the Lady of Blessed Murder, and be one step closer to the only thing she desires. Revenge. Nevernight will come on the heels of Kristoff's latest YA book, a collaboration with Amie Kaufman from Knopf Books for Young Readers, Illuminae. Knopf is planning a major publicity blitz and featuring Illuminae as its lead title for Fall, on sale October 20th. The marketing and publicity campaign include a multi-city USA tour in the fall, major outreach at consumer and industry events, a national paid advertising campaign, and extensive publicity outreach"--

I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW. My feels are ALL A SCRAMBLE. I just finished this wretchedly glorious book and I AM STRIKING. TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPEN IN THIS BOOK. Which is good, but still my heart of stone has been turned to a pulp and I am crying.

I have to admit: I DID NOT THINK I WOULD BE ABLE TO GIVE THIS BOOK 5 STARS. Not under ANY circumstances because IT HAS A MAGICAL BOOB JOB/FACE LIFT. And I was like….#NO. Just no. WAIIII. And I was SUUUUUPER skeptical going in. I was pessimistic like the little pessimistic cucumber that I am. I am, in fact, the Queen of Pessimism. Just ask anyone that has ever met me. I wasn’t really sure I even wanted to like this book with it’s boob jobs and face lifts. BUT OMG EVERYTHING IN IT DESTROYED ME. Also the reasons for said magical alterations were sort of justified. I mean, I can think of arguments against them BUT I CAN SEE WHY IT WAS DONE. That being said….there were several points in here where it was painfully obvious that this book (in the point of view of a female character) was written by a man. MOVING ON TO LISTS WHICH EVERYONE LOVES.

  • This list is going to be OH SO LONG.
  • SO this book is ENTIRELY AND UTTERLY SASSY. I can’t get me enough sass. GIVE ME ALL THE SASS PLEASE AND THANK YOU BARTHOLEMEW. The narrator is sassy, Mia is sassy, and Mister Kindly is sassy.
  • SPEAKING OF MISTER KINDLY. He is a cat made out of shadows and is basically Mia’s best friend but also he really likes making fun of her and questioning all of her life decisions. I AM APPROVE. He is my favorite.
  • ALSO: this book is written with FOOTNOTES. It may sound strange. BUT THE FOOTNOTES ARE MOSTLY JUST MORE NARRATOR SASSINESS which we have established by now I am entirely a fan of. THERE CAN NEVER BE ENOUGH SASS.
  • Cassius AKA THE LORD OF BLADES or as I like to call him FATHER OF THE NIGHT because he is just wholly and entirely badass. I feel like I’m the only one who loves him???? The second he walked in my heart stopped and I was like…SOULMATES and from then on I couldn’t get enough but there IS DEFINITELY NOT ENOUGH OF HIM IN THIS and I am The Sad. HOW COULD YOU JAY KRISTOFF????? #sorude
  • And Mia could have been a soulless emotionless depthless assassin-main-character but she was so full of her own mixed and twisted feelings that she felt so real and I am also sort of in love with her???? SHE IS SO AMAZING.

  • Tric is so precious from the getgo!!! (IS THAT ONE WORD???? DO I CARE??????? No. No, I do not. Moving on.) He has super insane smelling glands (is that even what they are called) and has a very tortured past giving him marshmallow insides and making us all fall hopelessly in love with him. Tric is the best of ever and I want more. NOW.
  • Mia’s abilities to call the dark are SO COOL. NO. Cool doesn’t even begin to explain it??? She is so magnificent and powerful and she doesn’t even know how powerful she is??? Also she has a tragic past as well but the most tragic part of it is hidden from us until almost the end and it’s truly awful. SO AWFUL. Like, I couldn’t even stop myself from crying and I was in public and people were like what even is her problem??????? So embarrassing. BUT IT’S SO TRAGIC AND HORRIBLE AND HORRIFYING (which, of course, is a GOOD thing, my lovelies).
  • This book is very much inspired by the Roman empire. At least, I think it is??? I haven’t specifically read that anywhere but I was totally getting Roman vibes the entire time!! I loved that! I loved that it could have a Roman feel to it without feeling particularly history-y because I find history to be completely boring. The made up deity didn’t feel annoying either (because usually I don’t like strong religions in books). The religions, while they do play a HUGE role, are very cleverly intertwined into the story so that it doesn’t feel forced or super churchy. IN FACT IT DOESN’T FEEL CHURCHY AT ALL. Even though several churches are mentioned. ANYWAYS.
  • All of the Shahiids (AKA the tutors for the assassins) all have their wonderfully dark and mysterious quirks and I loved all of them. THEY ARE SO RUTHLESS and Me loves that.
  • DID I MENTION SASS YET???
  • THERE ARE BOOKWORMS. ACTUAL BOOKWORMS.
  • ALSO back to Cassius because I CANNOT. He made me want to immediately sit down and start writing a super dark but stunningly handsome character of my own. Even though I knew nothing about him I just felt so drawn to him (don’t know what that says about my dark soul??? BUT WHO CARES BECAUSE BAE) AND I NEED TO WRITE A DARK BROODING MALE. THE END.
  • Also in case you weren’t aware, THIS IS A BOOK ABOUT ASSASSINS. It does not have a happy ending. TO BE FAIR if you read the bit in the back of the book about Jay Kristoff he makes it very clear that it won’t have a happy ending. PLUS the very first chapter of the book tells us that the main character is dead. SO. TRY not to get attached. I DARE YOU.*
*SPOILER: I failed.

  • The footnotes. I know I said I liked the footnotes but hear me out. So sometimes the footnotes were very pleasingly cheeky. Sometimes they made fun of Mia. Sometimes they made fun of other people. The really liked calling people stupid and foolish and dumb. AND THOSE ARE ALL GOOD THINGS. But there were also a lot of explainy footnotes that I found really boring and DON’T JUDGE but sometimes I skipped over them because ACTUALLY I DON’T CARE HOW THE THREE SUNS CAME TO BE. I don’t need a play by play. Just tell me that this god betrayed that and be done with it. ON TO THE STABBING PLEASE ISN’T THIS BOOK ABOUT ASSASSINS AND NOT SUNS???
  • As I mentioned before, the parts that were painfully obvious that a man wrote it?? SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE LET ME TELL YOU. There were, for example, moments usually where people were joking about Mia having misplaced her bosom, or Mister Kindly joking about her having no butt. WHY WOULD A SHADOW NOT-CAT CARE ABOUT MIA HAVING NO BUT. COME ON, PLEASE.

  • The fact that it is NOT ACKNOWLEDGED that men have different tastes in women other than Big boobs and full lips. Like….I get that an assassin needs to be pleasing to the eye so that she can seduce her marks and get secrets before she slits their throats in there sleep. I’M DOWN WITH THAT. But saying that that is the only way to look beautiful??? No.

Have you read Nevernight???? What was your favorite thing about it? What was your least favorite thing about it???? If you haven’t what is holding you back? (Honestly I almost didn’t pick it up because of the aforementioned physical alterations that seemed unnecessary BUT IT’S WORTH IT IF YOU WANT YOUR HEART RIPPED OUT. Trust me. You do).

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8 thoughts on “My Scrambled and DESTROYED Thoughts on Nevernight whose Author DOES NOT Believe in Happy Endings

  1. I’ve wanted to read this for ages but just never seem to get around too it. I’ve heard some problematic things about the author which I think put me off a bit. But I do really want to give this book a chance especially after your glowing review!

    1. I was SO FREAKING skeptical going in!!! And I TOTALLY get it! But trust me. If you like dark, stabby and bloody books then you ABSOLUTLY MUST READ THIS BECAUSE I THE QUEEN OF DARKNESS HAVE DECREED IT SO. I was absolutely blown away and now I’m dying until the sequel comes out D:

  2. I was skeptical reading this one too Esther, I seen so many other reviews of the ARC and thought surely, it’s not as brilliant as what everyone is saying. I’m dubious like that. But it blew me away. It took me a while to get into it though, I was confused at the start and then once it clicked, OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I must admit, the footnotes didn’t work for me and after the first few chapters I had stopped reading them. Not long to go until Godsgrave! Brilliant review Esther and so glad you enjoyed it <3 <3

    1. Yes!!! Those were my thoughts too and I think I probably let others influence me just a SMUDGE TOO MUCH haha but even thought I had several reservations I WAS TOTALLY OBLITERATED BY THIS BOOK AND I HAVE NO REGREY’S AND NO CHILL. It filled my need of stabby and dark books quite pleasantly while simultaneously crushing me irreparably ? I am now waiting very impatiently for Godsgrave! Thank you!! I’m glad you liked it haha ?

  3. I agree! For some reason I can’t stand it when author’s have footnotes in their books. Unless it’s handwritten ones from JK Rowling, then I would. I’ve heard some mixed reviews on Nevernight and have been thinking about picking it up soon. Should I? Let me know. Good post!

    1. Some of the footnotes are entirely hilarious!! But if you see a long paragraph footnote it’s usually safe to skim it ?

      YES OMG EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS WHO LIKES STABTASTIC AMS BLOODY BOOKS. It’s so insanely well written and the characters excel in several areas of badassery!

  4. My main problem with the footnotes were that they were actually distracting me from the story. Plus I hated that face lift/boob job part :/ I have LITERALLY the same feelings as you and I don’t know what to say except that some twinning is going on here lol. I wanted to write a review for this but I dunno what to write now since I have the exact same feelings as you! Great review though 🙂
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