So this is my first time participating in one of The Broke and Bookish‘s Top Ten Tuesday prompt! The only problem is: I don’t read horror. I am (perhaps it is a little snobby of me, but eh) almost a strictly FANTASY READER. I don’t want to sound like I am above any other genres but…I mean…just look at the NAME OF MY BLOG OKAY? THAT SPLAINS IT ALL. And so because I am queen and I am genious (but mostly because Cait @ Paper Fury IS GENIOUS and came up with this amazing idea first), I decided to tell you all WHY I don’t read Horror.
1: NOT FANTASY.
While this one may seem obvious, I thought it might PRUDENT to mention it anyways. I have read other genres, don’t get me wrong. I was there when Twilight came out, I read The Help and loved it, and every so once in a while I will enjoy a book that isn’t fantasy. But it’s rare for me, and it MAKES MY FAITH WAVER MY BEAUTIES.
2: It’s SO hard to find good ones!
In other words, either it’s TOO GORY AND BLOODY AND JUST GROSS I’M TRYING TO EAT HERE, or it just feels like the author is trying too hard to scare me, and therefore seems overdone. Also I am more of a fan of creepy horror than stuff like the chainsaw massacre. I like subtlety, and the horror I’ve read about or read isn’t much on the subtle side.
3: I’m A FREE PERSON leave me alone
I know people say that you should broaden your horizons and try new things. NO. THEY ARE WRONG. Do what ever the heck you like. That’s what I do, and it works for me. I don’t read horror because I don’t want to, and there is NOTHING wrong with that, thank you very much good sir!
4: If I can’t get into the genre, I can’t fangirl!
And by fangirl I mean flailing hopelessly on the ground while the corners of books stab me. Also it’s no fun when you can’t connect with the other readers out there! Listen to my wisdom, for it is wise!
5: Someone has to say it: The covers are DRAB.
Well, to me, that is. I am aspiring to being able to make beautiful rainbow spirals out of my books some day, when my library is nice and like twenty times bigger than its current #sad state. #priorities. I JUDGE ALL BOOKS BY THEIR COVER. I’ve said it before, and I will PROBABLY SAY IT AGAIN. We all do it. We all know we’re not supposed to, but we all do it.
6: I read before I go to bed. EVERY NIGHT.
That’s not a reason, you say? WELL I SAY IT IS. And so it is. If I should stumble upon a particularly creepy book, I can’t be having no nightmares every night! I would die of sleep deprivation.
We all know that it’s way more fun to enjoy horror with someone who you can clutch on to when the going gets tough, someone who will scream louder than you when the demon pops out of nowhere, and someone will pig out on snacks next to you.
8: My significant other doesn’t read horror.
In fact, he doesn’t particularly enjoy reading, which means that, again, I WOULD BE GOING IT ALONE AND THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE. This one may sound a little redundant BUT IT’S NOT, I SWEAR.
9: I don’t know what’s out there
As I spend most of my time frolicking in make-believe worlds (that INCLUDES while I am at work, because my mind does what it wants, ALWAYS), I am never aware of what Horror books are out there. Also, I don’t have any friends that like it (AHEM, my BUF* again)
*BUF is what I refer to my boyfriend as. Perfectly logical, I know.
10: The character you like is probably going to die anyway
Why go into a book KNOWING that half of the characters are going to die? They all have brain deficiencies, because who gets up in the middle of the night to go investigate ALONE when they hear a strange breathing noise? Who thinks its a good idea to enter a dark room EVEN THOUGH THE POWER WENT OUT? No. DON’T DO IT, SUZIE! But she will, and then she will die.
So there are my ten reasons for NOT reading horror, instead of 10 horror books for All Hallows Eve. BY THE WAY GERMANS DON’T EVEN DO HALLOWEEN. Plus, I am allergic to sugar so it would only make me sadder to partake in Halloween.
Do you have a Top Ten Tuesday post? DO YOU EVEN READ HORROR? Tell me why or why not?